Mini Series: Part 5 “Finding Their Feet”

After the intensity of starting Year 7, the middle years of secondary school can seem calmer from the outside — but beneath the surface, a lot is shifting.

This stage is often where young people begin to explore their identity, pull away from adults, and lean more heavily into peer groups. Their emotional world deepens, but their ability to express it clearly is still developing.

They’re no longer new, but they’re not quite settled either — and they’re learning who they are, often by testing who they’re not.

What it might feel like for the young person:

“I want more freedom, but I still need support.”

“I don’t always know why I feel this way.”

“No one understands me.”

“Everyone else seems more confident than me.”

These years can be quietly overwhelming. School might feel more pressurised, friendships more complicated, and emotions more intense — even if they appear indifferent or withdrawn.

What you might notice:

Mood swings or sensitivity to criticism

Friendships that change quickly — or drama that seems constant

A need for more independence (but often without the skills to manage it)

Shifts in motivation, focus, or engagement with schoolwork

It can be a confusing time for adults too — the young person who once wanted cuddles and connection may now want space and independence. It’s all part of the transition.

How you can help:

🌿 Stay steady – they still need boundaries and calm, even when they push against them

🌿 Keep connection alive – find small, pressure-free ways to spend time together

🌿 Normalise emotional ups and downs – they’re learning to regulate a growing emotional world

🌿 Don’t take withdrawal personally – it’s often about them, not you

🌿 Offer tools they can use independently – journalling, EFT tapping, movement, music

🌿 Use tapping together or teach them short phrases like:

“Even though I feel overwhelmed, I can take one breath at a time.”

“I’m learning how to deal with big feelings, and that’s okay.”

A gentle reminder for the young person:

“You don’t have to have it all figured out. You’re growing, changing, and finding your way — and that’s brave.”

💛 How I Can Support You or Your Child

I offer one-to-one support for children, teens (8–18+), parents, and teachers who may be finding transitions or emotions overwhelming. Sessions are gentle, empowering, and tailored to each individual, using a blend of EFT tapping, coaching, and calming techniques. I work in person at my beautiful, peaceful therapy space in Bradford on Avon, or online via Zoom. If you’d like to explore support for yourself, your child, or your school, you’re warmly welcome to get in touch.

More info, availability, and pricing can be found at www.rachelstacey-mckay.com