When Everyone’s Brains Are Buzzing:

When Everyone’s Brains Are Buzzing: The Challenges of Being an ADHD Parent Raising ADHD Children — and how you can support yourself, too.

Parenting is complex at the best of times. But when both you and your child (or children) have ADHD, the challenges multiply — emotionally, practically, and mentally. It’s a home full of fast brains, big feelings, missed appointments, and incredible creativity. And while there is deep understanding and connection, it can also be utterly exhausting.

The Double ADHD Dynamic

When a parent and child both have ADHD, you're navigating two (or more) sets of executive functioning challenges. That might look like:

• Forgetting appointments together.

  
  

• Running late as a team effort.

  
  

• Big emotions bouncing off one another.

  
  

• Shared overwhelm with noise, clutter, or transitions.

It’s a bit like trying to steer a ship through a storm without a compass — while also trying to build the compass from scratch… and getting distracted by a rainbow on the horizon.

Challenges That Come Up

Here are some of the most common (and often under-discussed) struggles ADHD parents face when raising ADHD children:

1. Executive Dysfunction Squared

If you both struggle with planning, initiating tasks, and staying organised, there’s often no “default adult” to pick up the slack. Mornings can be chaotic, paperwork missed, and routines hard to maintain.

2. Emotional Dysregulation on All Sides

ADHD affects the ability to regulate emotions — and that goes for adults too. A dysregulated child might trigger a dysregulated parent. Cue shouting, shutdown, guilt, and a cycle of repair.

3. Sensory Overload is a Shared Experience

Too much noise, mess, or stimulation can create parallel meltdowns — especially if neither of you has the tools to down-regulate quickly.

4. Impulsivity and Conflict

You both may speak or react before thinking — leading to tension, misunderstandings, or shame spirals. It’s hard when you’re trying to model behaviour you’re still learning yourself.

5. Navigating School and Systems

Managing emails, deadlines, EHCPs, or meetings when your own executive functioning is shaky can feel overwhelming. And many ADHD parents carry their own childhood trauma from school systems that didn’t understand them.

Supporting You — the ADHD Parent

It’s easy to focus all your energy on supporting your child. But the truth is: you matter just as much. When you learn how your own brain works, you can build systems that support the whole family.

Many ADHD parents only begin to understand their own ADHD after their child is diagnosed. Coaching can be a huge support in this — not just for managing symptoms, but for making sense of your life.

How ADHD Coaching Can Help

• ADHD coaching focuses on building real-life strategies that work for your brain, including:

  
  

• Creating sustainable routines (not Pinterest-perfect ones!)

  
  

• Managing emotional overload and shame

  
  

• Learning how to plan, prioritise, and start tasks

  
  

• Exploring your unique strengths

  
  

• Setting compassionate boundaries

  
  

• Untangling perfectionism and people-pleasing

  
  

• Developing parenting strategies that are neurodivergent-affirming

Tips for ADHD Parents — Small Steps, Big Shifts

If you’re a parent with ADHD, here are some practical ways to start supporting yourself today:

1. Get to Know Your Patterns

Notice when your overwhelm peaks. Is it the school run? Late afternoons? Sundays? Awareness is the first step to creating change.

2. Use Visual Cues

Wall planners, coloured sticky notes, and whiteboards can help keep the household on the same page — literally.

3. Outsource Your Weak Spots

You don’t have to do it all. Use alarms, delegate tasks, use delivery services, or ask for help without guilt.

4. Rest Before You Break

Don’t wait until you’re at breaking point. Micro-breaks throughout the day (a walk, deep breaths, a moment of silence) can reset your nervous system.

5. Let Go of Neurotypical Standards

Your home, routines, and parenting may look different — and that’s okay. What matters is connection, not perfection.

6. Try Co-Regulation

Practice calming techniques together with your child: EFT tapping, mindful breathing, stretching, or even dancing it out.

7. Celebrate Wins (Big or Small)

Brushed teeth and made it to school on time? That’s a win. Recognising your efforts shifts your focus away from constant ‘not-enoughness’.

The Strengths That Come With It

ADHD parents can offer incredible gifts: empathy, creativity, humour, emotional attunement, and a deep understanding of what it means to be different.

You’re showing your child what it means to live authentically, to try again, to apologise and repair, and to keep learning. And that is powerful parenting.

You’re Not Alone

There is no perfect system. No perfect parent. But there is a way to feel more empowered, more resourced, and more regulated — even when the house is a mess and dinner’s still frozen.

Whether through ADHD coaching, community support, or small daily changes, you can learn to support yourself while raising your neurodivergent children. You deserve that care too.