Hormones & ADHD: When Mum’s in Perimenopause and Daughter’s Starting Periods

Living in a household where both mum and daughter have ADHD is already a unique dynamic – full of creativity, energy, emotional depth, and (let’s be honest) chaos. But when you add in hormones, things can get even more intense. For many ADHD women and girls, hormonal changes don’t just affect their bodies – they amplify their ADHD symptoms in ways that can feel destabilising, disorienting, and exhausting.

Let’s explore why this happens, and how you're not alone if this stage of life feels harder than it “should”.

The Hormone-ADHD Connection: Why It Matters

ADHD is not just a brain-based condition – it’s also highly sensitive to hormonal fluctuations. Estrogen, in particular, plays a key role in regulating dopamine, the neurotransmitter that’s already in short supply for ADHD brains.

When Estrogen levels drop or fluctuate – such as during puberty, perimenopause, menstruation, or postpartum – many women with ADHD notice a spike in symptoms like:

• Emotional dysregulation

• Brain fog

• Forgetfulness

• Impulsivity

• Sensory overwhelm

• Mood swings

• Sleep disturbance

• Low tolerance for stress

For a teenage girl just starting her periods, and a mum navigating the wild ride of perimenopause or menopause, it can feel like the rug has been pulled out from under both of them.

When ADHD Mum Meets ADHD Teen: The Hormonal Storm

Imagine this: a mum in her 40s feeling more exhausted, emotional, and scattered than ever before. She’s trying to juggle work, the household, and her own shifting sense of self. Meanwhile, her teenage daughter is suddenly more irritable, overwhelmed by friendships and body changes, and struggling to focus at school.

Both may feel misunderstood, raw, and reactive. Hormones, ADHD, and generational mirroring create a perfect storm of:

Heightened conflict or misunderstandings (“Why are you shouting at me?” “Why are YOU shouting at ME?”)

Sensory overload in the home (sound, mess, smells, clutter – it can all feel unbearable)

Emotional burnout – where both mum and daughter feel like they're failing or "too much"

Struggles with routine, sleep, eating, or self-care, especially around period time

And the truth is: this is not just moodiness or bad behaviour – it’s a neurobiological and hormonal collision that needs compassion, not criticism.

The Hidden Side of ADHD in Women: Hormones & Gynaecological Issues

Many women with ADHD live with undiagnosed or under-treated hormonal and gynaecological conditions for years. Research and anecdotal evidence suggest high rates of:

• PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder)

• Severe PMS

• PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome)

• Endometriosis

• Painful or irregular periods

• Early menopause or difficult perimenopause

• Infertility or pregnancy complications

These issues often go undetected because women with ADHD have often been dismissed, misdiagnosed, or misunderstood by healthcare systems. Many are told they’re “just anxious” or “hormonal” – when in fact, their ADHD is interacting with their biology in complex, overlooked ways.

So, What Can Help?

If you're reading this as a mum or parent navigating this exact phase, you’re not alone – and you’re not doing anything wrong. This is hard because it is hard. But there are ways to support yourself and your daughter:

1. Track Hormonal Patterns

Use a shared calendar or app to track periods, moods, and symptoms. Noticing patterns can help reduce guilt or self-blame and allow for softer expectations during certain times of the month.

2. Educate Yourselves Together

Learn about the menstrual cycle, ADHD and hormones, and the peri/menopause process. Normalising these changes for both generations can reduce shame and empower everyone involved.

3. Co-Regulation Over Correction

If you’re both dysregulated, it can help to pause, breathe, and take a beat together rather than reacting. Think: “Let’s both sit down for a moment,” rather than, “Go to your room!”

4. Holistic Support

Explore natural supports like magnesium, omega-3s, essential oils, EFT/tapping, mindfulness, and colour therapy – all can help regulate the nervous system gently. (These aren’t replacements for medical care but can be powerful companions.)

5. Seek the Right Support

Not all healthcare professionals understand the ADHD-hormone connection. Find a neurodivergence-aware GP, coach, therapist or specialist who gets it – for you and your daughter.

6. Self-Compassion as Daily Practice

Your brain is doing its best. Your body is doing its best. So is your daughter’s. Make kindness to yourselves part of your daily rhythm.

Final Thoughts

Hormonal changes are hard enough – but when layered with ADHD, they can feel overwhelming. You’re not imagining it. You’re not weak. You’re navigating a neurodivergent path through a hormonal maze – and doing it while parenting someone else doing the same.

Let this be your reminder: You’re not alone. You’re not broken. And you’re doing better than you think.